Ten Sassy Comebacks in Books

Hi lovelies!  So this time, I wanted to do something a little different, and it was a ton of fun researching this.  I am personally obsessed with the sassy characters and the dialogue that makes me giggle.  So I thought, why not make a list of some of the real winners here?  Of course, I can’t actually limit myself to just ten only (hence why I left “top” off of the post title).  But these are ten great books that are loaded with sass and witty comebacks!

So if humor happens to be your thing, I totally recommend these books.  These quotes are all be spoiler free.

(Let’s just get Jace Wayland out of the way right at the beginning.  Mr. Sassy-Pants shows up a lot in my favorites.)

City of Bones (Mortal Instruments, #1) by Cassandra Clare

Clary: “Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?”

Jace: “If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked.”

City of Ashes (Mortal Instruments, #2) by Cassandra Clare

Jace: “I don’t want to be a man.  I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can’t confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.”

Luke: “Well, you’re doing a fantastic job.”

City of Glass (Mortal Instruments, #3) by Cassandra Clare

Malachi:”I don’t remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane.”

Magnus:”They didn’t.  Your wards are down.”

The Consul (dripping with sarcasm):”Really?  I hadn’t noticed.”

Magnus: “That’s terrible. Someone should have told you.” (glances at Luke) “Tell him the wards are down.”

Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy, #1) by Richelle Mead

Rose: “You know what would help?”

Dimitri: “Hmm?”

Rose: “If you turned off this crap music and put on something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down.”

Dimitri: “Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe.”

Rose: “Hey, gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade.”

Graceling (Graceling Realm, #1) by Kristin Cashore

Katsa: “I’m not going to wear a red dress.”

Maid: “It would look stunning, My Lady.”

Katsa: “If there’s anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I’ll hit him in the face.”

The Awakening (Darkest Powers, #2) by Kelley Armstrong

Derek: “Dog.  It was inside earlier.”

Chloe: “Oh, my God! It’s a killer Pomeranian.  It’s a tough call, but I think you can take him.”

(I really like this one, mostly because it’s just so sarcastic, and I would totally use this in real life.)

Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2) by Suzanne Collins

Katniss: “Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven’t looked pretty?”

Finnick: “It must be. The sensation’s completely new. How have you managed it all these years?”

Katniss: “Just avoid mirrors. You’ll forget about it.”

Finnick: “Not if I keep looking at you.”

The Season by Sarah MacLean

Alexandra: “Do you think me horselike, my lord?”

Blackmoor: “Not at all. I said I think you charming.”

Alexandra: “A fine start.”

Blackmoor: “And I appreciate your exuberance.”

Alexandra (irritated): “Like that of a child.”

Blackmoor: “And, of course, you are entertaining.”

Alexandra: “Excellent. Like the aforementioned child’s toy.”

Blackmoor: “Not at all. You are a far better companion than any of the toys I had as a child.”

Alexandra: “Oh, I am most flattered.”

Blackmoor: “You should be. I had some tremendous toys.”

Wondrous Strange (Wondrous Strange, #1) by Lesley Livingston

Director (of a play): “Kelley. Your name is Kelley, isn’t it?  Yes. Well. Tell me…that bit just now…was that from Dante’s Inferno?”

Kelley: “Uh…no.”

Director: “Really?  Are you sure?  Because it most certainly wasn’t from this play. And it bloody well sounded like hell.”

A Match Made in High School by Kristin Walker

Todd: “I’m telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.”

Fiona: “I would, but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I’d even settle for a demigod. It’s a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you.”

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