The Ivy (The Ivy, #1)

First Lines: Dearest Froshlings: peons and future leaders of America, Move-in day is officially here, and the upperclassman cannot wait to welcome you to Harvard: our humble abode.

So I bought this for my Kindle ages ago, and frankly any book that ends up on my Kindle goes there to die, not to be read.  (Sorry, but it’s true.  I don’t use it!)  When this managed to make its way to the top of my to-read list (through randomness and chance), I decided it was time to resurrect it from the book graveyard.

Callie Andrews doesn’t fit the normal Harvard stereotype.  She doesn’t come from a famous parent, a Fortune 500 family, or international royalty.  But she’s made it to Harvard, and it’s everything she could’ve dreamed.  She friends with her spastic roommates and there are some really hot guys living across the hall…is that enough to help her survive her freshman year of college?

Turns out this zombie deserved to stay in the book graveyard.  I only read the first 56% before I had to give it up.

The characters in this book were the most vapid, shallow, and annoying characters I’ve read in quite some time.  I think in some ways this book was trying to honestly portray certain aspects of college that are usually frowned upon, but every character ended up coming out stock: girls were brainless, vengeful, and desperate to get any guy’s attention while the boys were rude and clearly only interested in getting into a girl’s pants.  Forget any facade of chivalry; it was just disgusting.

Look, I went to a “party school” for college.  I more or less know what goes on at these schools to earn them their reputations.  (Mini-rant: frankly, calling one school a “party school” over another school seems dumb.  My experience has shown me that any school that’s not a commuter school or a community college is basically a party school.)  But it was just awful when Callie and her roommates didn’t care at all about classes, just when the next party was and who would be there.  And these girls go to HARVARD.

The relationships between the characters drove me crazy too.  Exhibit A: when Callie first meets her roommates, they all more or less ignore her.  Mimi ignores her to hit on a guy, Vanessa ignores her to call her BFF a “whore” on the phone (I HATE THAT GIRLS DO THAT), and Dana was probably off spouting Bible verse, I don’t actually remember.  But then the next time they’re all together (which timeline-wise, I think was the next morning), they’re BFFs.  What?  I roomed with a girl who ignored me in school–we ignored each other virtually all year.  We didn’t become BFFs overnight, even after we had good days.

Oh, no matter what Callie said, she was totally there to get her MRS degree.  That girl had the attention span of a gnat when it came to guys.  Swear to Zeus.  Upon meeting one hot guy, she proceeds to nearly blurt out “I love you” while simultaneously forgetting she has a boyfriend.  Girl, get it together.  And at least one of these guys was a conceited jerks; and no matter how hot he is, a jerk is still a jerk and therefore unattractive.

The only real good mark I’ll give it is the humor from this magazine that starts off nearly every chapter.  It was sarcastic and witty, but seemed to have little to no bearing on the actual story.

As you may be able to tell, I got aggravated pretty quickly.  But really, when the whole plot of the book seems to be “Hey, let’s get drunk and flirt with this cute guy!” I’m going to have issues.  I was done.  56% was more than enough time for a plot to develop (or, you know, begin), and it didn’t.

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