Do you ever have one of those days where literally nothing seems to go your way? When it seems like the entire world is against you?
That day is today for me. And I just need a few minutes to vent.
Oh, it all started innocently enough. My 7th graders turned in their argumentative essays today, which, yeah, is a ton of grading landing in my lap. But I’ve been expecting it. My morning actually was pretty good.
Aaaaaand then it took a Millennium Force nose-dive.
My afternoon kids are typically a bit squirrellier than my morning kids. (Yes, I did just make up a new word.) They’re more talkative and sometimes more needy–which means they’re constantly at my desk, 3 deep, asking for help.
My 7th period class is the worst of all. They’re so talkative that I have to try 5 times (no joke) to get them to quiet down. I gave up today. I had everything they needed on a PowerPoint, so I simply clicked through slides hoping they would talk themselves out or realize how frustrated I was. (Occasionally that’s really effective.) It didn’t work today. They were completely oblivious until I started handing out detentions. They know better. I was just so livid by that point, and when my next class started pulling the same stuff, I let them have it.
If I could have had some time to decompress after that, I would have been ok. I just wanted to get to my car, blast some Hamilton, and sing it out. (Singing really helps calm me down.) But there was a staff meeting after school I had to attend. And it wasn’t too bad, especially when my boss announced we were getting a big bonus for our test scores from last year.
….Everyone but me.
Why, you ask? It has to do with how last-minute my hiring was last year, how new I am, and assessment ratings that I still don’t believe were fair. I mean, I know that I’m really the only one who knows that it’s not me. He didn’t call me out or anything, but it’s just so frustrating.
So far, not fantastic. But still not awful, right?
My check engine light came on in my fairly new car.
If I could, I would have ignored it until my dad had a chance to look at it. (He works with cars, so every problem automatically goes to him before it goes to a shop.) But obviously, my mom insisted that my brother take it somewhere to read the code it was throwing out. It’s apparently something that regulates how much gas you put in the tank and if left unchecked, it can lead to my car backfiring and other awful-sounding things. I really have no idea what he said; it’s all Greek to me. It just sounded scary. I guess the part itself isn’t very expensive (if that’s really the problem), but if one of my brothers is right, labor could be.
This is probably the point where I mention that I don’t handle stress well at all. My flight response kicks in, and I escape any way I can. Reading, singing, distractions of some kind. But nothing’s working tonight. I’m so keyed up I feel like I need a punching bag. I’ve refused to grade any of those essays I collected because I’m afraid that my bad mood will turn into unfair/harsh grading.
It’s times like these when I wish Peter Pan had found me when I was younger.